I Hit a Wall

Kendra Thompson

We’ve found ourselves still living in the midst of a global pandemic. Death tolls rise and restrictions remain. And yet, God, too, is steadfast. What is God revealing to you so you know He is Trustworthy, Beautiful, and Good?

Yesterday, to use a phrase I’ve been hearing more and more lately, I hit a wall. I was clearing plates from the table not long after dinner and I just had to stop. I had to sit down, then lie down. I had to desist from all activity for a few minutes – and then for a few minutes more. Looming, though not heavily, was the prompt for this blog theme. At first, I saw these two things in contrast. But now I see that my predicament yesterday was an answer to the question. How do I know God is trustworthy, beautiful, and good? Because yesterday, I hit a wall.

Yesterday, I hit a wall and I just had to rest a minute. I couldn’t tick one more thing off my to do list I couldn’t fold one more pair of socks, nor could I bag up one more pile of fallen pine needles. I hit a wall and I needed to sit down.

In many ways, my reflection is just an echo of what the other bloggers have said. There is so much that is outside of our control and in those moments when we smack squarely into our lack (like a wall) we are reminded of the 2nd Corinthians passage about Paul’s “thorn in the flesh.” In chapter 12, Paul writes,

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

How do I know that God is good? Because through moments of limitation and restriction, I am reminded that I’m not in charge of the universe, I’m not in control. Universe set aside, I can’t even control – or schedule – my next fit of exhaustion! But rest comes, grace comes, and God reigns. It doesn’t mean I’m always so quick to grasp this, but God’s mercy comes into focus more clearly when I face my own powerlessness and fatigue.

This is where the Christian life contrasts with the way of the world. There are millions of products and just as many “life hacks” to convince us we need not skip a beat; we can be healthy, organized, centered and successful at all times. These products and promises, though seemingly benign, stand in contrast with the truth of the gospel. And what is that? That we’re not fine, we don’t “got this,” and it might be time to sit out a round. And sometimes (like me, yesterday) we don’t acknowledge this truth, though we know it deep down in our heart, until we hit a wall.

So today, after a good night’s rest, and a dose of humility, I thank God for the wall. And perhaps even more, I thank Him for his sufficiency and grace.

Kendra Thompson is a children’s minister, a writer, a Morning Star parent and part-time director of communications for the school. She and her husband, John, love that their kids’ faith is incorporated into their learning at Morning Star Academy.

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